Why is it when you are trying to be responsible and do the right thing all you run into are road blocks? But if you are being careless or just don’t care everything seems to be handed to you? I guess I just need to go pop out a 5th kid and hell why stop there at that point.

I have been trying for a few weeks to get information on getting my tubes tied and getting it set up and done. This is a big step for me as a lot of you know from reading my other post it was never an option I would consider in the past. My sister almost died having hers done and then I know someone else who has life long injuries from having it done. But now being a single mom with 4 kids who knows beyond a shadow a doubt that she is done and don’t want the chance of a ops or for the option to even be open for discussion when I start dating I decided this is what would make me feel best in the end.

I called one place they said they call me back that was weeks ago never heard from them. They were checking on somethings. I got a call from my doctors office saying that it was time for my yearly check up and exam. I figured I go get it done and talk to them about it. I told them on the phone I wanted to know about getting it done as well they said okay. I go all they can say is we can send you to a gyn to get it done. I called a ton and they say they do not take my insurance unless I am pregnant. I called the insurance company when I left there and all the ones they could give me for my area were 2 hours or more away from me, not my area. I decided to go to the health department and ask because I was told they do birth controlling and things for free. I got it there the first time I got it but didn’t want my tubes tied. I had talked to them about it in the past so knew they did it. The first thing she ask is if I had insurance and when I told her yes she looked and said we do not take that we can’t help you. She game me a list of the ones they do take and they are the ones most no where in our area take so then if I change I couldn’t see my other doctors. If I change just to get it done it will take forever to get it straight to get it to the other and be able to see my doctors again. The lady at the desk even said if you like your insurance and already have doctors and things I wouldn’t change to one of these. They know they aren’t that great and no where takes them and how hard it is to get back with the other.

I can’t drive hours away to go see this doctor set things up have it done go back for follow up. I won’t be able to drive I have no one to drive me and I have to be here to get the kids two and from school I would’t be able to going back and forth like that. But it gets me I know they do them at the health department and if I didn’t have insurance I would have no problem, they be bending over backwards to help me get it done. Or if I was pregnant and wanted to have it done when I had the baby they would do it with no problem. But since I am not pregnant and don’t have insurance they take they won’t touch me. It isn’t like I have some super great insruance or a ton of money so just pay for it. I have insruance through the state because I am a student and have 4 kids already and a single parent.

You would think out of all people they would want to help do something like this it would be the single mom with kids they are already helping so that she don’t have more if she is trying to avoid it and better her life for her and the kids she already has. But nope they just say find a doctor who will see you and if you can’t I don’t know what to tell you.

The grandma that has her granddaughter and has her in school where my kids go sent me the name and number to one that she says takes my insurance and are taking people that are not pregnant. I hope she is right. I am going to call them first thing tomorrow. She said they are going to see her granddaughter and she isn’t. They are my last hope.

The more I have to search and try to find someone who will do it the more I feel that maybe not having it done wasn’t such a bad idea after all and that this is a sign that it is a bad idea. I keep telling myself it isn’t true but these are the thoughts I keep having.

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