Been feeling pretty lonely lately, It’s hard when you go from having someone there every day and night for 9 years to having no one ever. We are born to crave and have human interaction and touch. Sure I have interaction with my kids and hugs and things. But it isn’t the same. It isn’t the same as the interaction and touch from the opposite sex. There is that depth there that isn’t there with a child or friend.
It’s funny because it isn’t like I miss anyone person from the past year. I miss different things from all of them really. Like my ex I miss how he use to give me massages just about every night if not at least when I really needed them. They weren’t long but just enough to make the pain go a way or bearable at least so I could sleep. Because I don’t take pain killers and the handfuls of pills they give you to get by. I am going to be messed up for the rest of my life. I have 3 kids to take care of and do for. It is hard enough at times the way I heart sometimes. The last thing I need to do is get addicted to pills on top of it. And I know it happens very easly even if you are taking them how they tell you. I may take something once or twice a year and then it is to the point that I am in tears and can’t move it hurts just to lay on the bed.
I miss the having someone in the evenings to watch tv or just talk after the kids go to bed. Some one for support and comfrot when things aren’t going so great. I miss being there for them to. To just listen and do what I can when they need it. i miss doing things together. Up until the last few years when we were fighting my ex use to go every where with me and the kids. We always did things as a family. No matter what it was. with RC we use to always to whatever needed to be done together or if one of us had to go somewhere we always went together just to hang out and spend time together. With my ex work and everyone and everything else became more importaint than us. With RC I think the kids over whelmed him. If it was just us or us and the two kids it was ok but if it was all of us I went or he went.
I miss the working together as a team and getting things that need to be done done so we can spend the rest of the time doing something we want to do or spend time with the kids.
I miss the sex and being close that way most. I am a bit of a nymphomaniac and it has really been getting to me lately. I have been a month with out any and the 6 months before that sucked. But I don’t want to go out and just find someone to hook up with. My friend I was seeing between me and ex braking up and RC getting to gather had messaged me a few times the last few months. He made some comments but I was still with RC. He hasn’t said anything the last month or so. Kind of disappointing. I wouldn’t mind hooking up with him again for a while. We got along pretty good. It’s been a year since we were together and were talking. In ways it seems like forever and in ways it seems like yesterday.