The school my older two kids are supposed to go to is horrible!! I went there and it wasn’t great then, and they have made changes and it is worse. The put the high school and Jr. High together. They already had rapes and things there after I left. They had a some really bad fights when I was there.

My first week of 9th grade they almost killed one of the older kids. By our 12th grade year they did kill a guy I went to school with since we were kids. The one who done it was aloud to come back to class.

The year after I finished they had rapes and other things they covered up. I seen how kids like my son was treated. I have been trying to get them scholarships but they have been saying pending for weeks. Now I finally get to half way talk to someone and they said they wanted paperwork. No where did it say paper work or they needed anything from me when you log in and check the status of your application. It just said pending so why would I think i needed to do anything. I went and looked around and it says I need this list of paperwork to turn in. I had went there before looking for something and it didn’t say anything either.

I finally got everything they wanted turned in yesterday. I just found all this out a day or two ago. Now I am waiting to see if they say it was to late or they get it. The thing is school starts Monday.

I just went and done all the paperwork for my little two today before work. I was happy I didn’t have to do anything but the paperwork and they didn’t ask for my two proof of this and that and shot records and physicals. I guess they have it all from last year I don’t know I really don’t care at this point. I am just glad they didn’t ask and I don’t have to find time and money to take care of more stuff.

But I have no idea what to do with the older two kids. I feel like I have dropped the ball. One wants to go to school the other don’t want to but he don’t want to do what he should be at home. Why can’t we skip jr high and high school and just go right to college? It would be much easier. Better yet why don’t these fucking people get their shit together and make the schools safer and better for our kids. I don’t know what to think or do. I guess i have failed my kids, and ruined their life.


{September 23, 2017}   Feeling Anxious and Overwhelmed

I have so much going on but then I have this one thing in the back of my mind I have to take care of the next week. It involves having people in my home and going through my house a property inspection kind of thing. I have nothing to hide but I hate people in my private space and going through my stuff or what. I am not sure how to handle it. My house is turned upside down, right now from leaving for the storm trying to go through things and get rid of stuff and things just getting set to the side until I have time to handle them and I haven’t. Both my fish tanks are like half empty right now and have been for a while because I just haven’t had time to mess with them or because I have not felt like messing with them because of all that is going on. I just don’t know what to do. I want to get things picked up and ready but the more I try to clean up the worse the mess seems to get and I give up and it sits. I am not even worried about the clutter everywhere as I just don’t want people in my house and walking around looking at things taking pictures and things. If the house was empty I wouldn’t want them too. I just feel it is my stuff stay out of it.

Is that weird or strange that I don’t want them in my house? If it is friends or something like that I don’t care but I have to be in the right mood even for them. But strangers that I don’t know I don’t want bothering me. I have to take time out of my busy day to be here to let them in and show them around and everything. I just don’t want to deal with them. I am thinking about calling back Monday and seeing if there is a different way to handle it. I can no believe it is stressing me out and bothering me this much. It makes it hard to think about other stuff do my school work or anything.

{July 22, 2016}   New Schools

I have found schools for the kids, now I just have to get all the paperwork and money in before the spots fill up. I have to take the papers in for the little ones tomorrow. I went in yesterday and they said they had two openings for my Little Bitty’s age and about 6 for my Little Guy’s age. I was supposed to take the papers back today but to much crap happen and I didn’t make it. I am going to drop Little Guy at school, grab my friend and then fill the papers out and go drop them off. I wish all 4 were going there it would be so nice, but I don’t feel their program for the bigger kids is as good as it is for the little ones. I feel it could be better for the bigger ones and that the guy didn’t even want to check into my sons scholarship or anything about taking it so he couldn’t go there anyway.

I found a school that looked good me and the kids went and checked it out Tuesday. They really liked it and I think it will be a good fit for them. It is a really small school only 26 kids. They take grades 1-12th. The kids don’t care they like that it is so small and the teachers can give them more one on one help. I think we all really liked it because it isn’t much different than use homeschooling other than they go there with other kids and teachers instead of me doing it. They do their work in their subjects in the morning, then in the afternoon they work on projects, life skills, experiments and different things like that. They have their own Boy Scout troop and if they have enough girls a Girl Scout troop. If not the girls do the things with the boys. They also have someone that comes in to do some of the life skills, she teaches them to cook, shop, money, budgets and things like that. They have chapel once a week and go on field trips.

She said if there is a holiday they do it, they have a big breakfast for St Patrick’s day, a family dinner for Thanksgiving, I think I seen they do a float in the Christmas parade even. She told me about days they close that other schools don’t and all that. Most of them are for training, she takes everyone so they can spit up and get more out of it and teach each other what they learned. They take special needs kids, gifted kids and everything in between. They all work together no matter what they have, don’t have or their needs, age, or grade. They get together and do projects or work on things as well as their other work.

I told her how my oldest tested really high in a lot of things and how she tested out at all most three years into college for reading, but scored low on math and that it has been both of their weak points. I told her that my Big Guy had not done so great on his test but I didn’t feel it was right because he had tested higher before, how I seen him looking off into space and the other kids said he was drawing on his paper during parts of it. She was shocked at my oldest testing so high on her reading. She said not to worry about my other one that they would be doing their own test. She never said when they needed to do their test I thought before we left and ask her if I needed to set a time to come in so they could do it in the next week or so since they were starting soon? She said no, they don’t test them before school starts. She said that once school starts they take a day or so to test them. She said they don’t tell them they are testing them they just tell them this is their work for the day and give them the test and let them take it. They don’t time it or anything. They want to really see what they know and what they don’t or where there are gaps that need to be filled in. She said when they would test them before school started they would test order all their books then when school started and they put them in front of the kids they would be clueless how to do the work or they would fly through it. She said they just guess and mark whatever on the test to get it done or were to nerves and not do good on it. So they switched to doing it this way and just giving it to them as their work for the day not calling it a test and they got better results and was able to really tell what level the kids where on in each subject and where they needed help and things.

That was something else I liked about it because they test for each subject as well and place them at grade level for each subject not just at grade level by how old you are so you should be in this grade or your not good in math so you have to go back to this grade until you get it. That is what a lot of the schools told me they would hold them back or bump them back grades just because they didn’t know math. A lot don’t have tutors either. Here they offer free tutoring a half hour twice a week and then you can also pay for it if they need more, in addition to what they get in school.

Like I told them my oldest has always been advanced when she was younger it wasn’t to big of a deal in school, by the time she hit 4th it was starting to be a problem. She say to me mom the teacher handed me this book that’s like 100 pages and 6 or 8 chapters and told us all to read chapter one for homework. The next day we get to school I have finished the book and the rest of the kids haven’t even read but half the first chapter if that, so then I have to sit there and wait while they read it out loud as a class or on their own before we can move on. Or mom I finish my work and sit there and wait while the kids take forever to do theirs. My favorite mom the teacher paired all the smart kids up with a stupid kid today. I said do not say that it is not nice. She said well not stupid but the ones who don’t do their work or goof off instead of doing their work. Now they are going to want to just copy our papers or we are going to get stuck doing all the work why they do nothing. She said I will help them but I am not doing all the work and I am not going to wait to do my work forever if they don’t do theirs or don’t keep up doing theirs I am going to do mine on my own and they can do theirs and I will tell the teacher that too. I don’t want a partner I want to work on my own I can get it done and over with faster than dragging it out forever.

She is like me in that since, if something needs to be done and it’s a your here and got to do it kind of things, I don’t want to take all day. I want to do it and get it done as quick as possible and move on to what needs to be done. I don’t slack or not do good work, I give it my all and do the best I can, but I do it quickly, I don’t take a million breaks or drag it out just because.

But anyway I think it they like it as well because it is a lot like what we do at home, they get to work at their level in everything and they get to do trips and things. My oldest is sold because she don’t have to wear uniforms and they have a microwave to heat her lunch up in.

{July 7, 2016}   The Hunt Is On

To find a school or schools for the kids. We have about 55 days give or take until school starts back and I have not found anything that seems like it will work. I was waiting to get the test done and back but I have had those now for weeks and still haven’t found one. I have sat here for hours tonight looking some up. I have at least 3 kids that will be in school this year. Maybe 4 if my little one gets head start or childcare. A lot of the private schools take childcare so I would like to get as many of them into one school as I can. That is hard to do with my oldest since she is going into 7th this year. A lot of the schools only go to 5 some up to 8 and very few to 12.

The kinder I am not worried about getting in they will take him, the older two they want to see test results and my Big boy didn’t do so hot on his. I know he must have skipped a lot of it because I when I seen him he was looking off into space and not working on it. The guy told him to work so he started looking at it but I don’t think he really read it more than just marked stuff. My oldest said at one point he was drawing pictures of a dinosaur eating  a guy on his test. Lovely I know. He scored lower on it than he did when I took it a few years ago so I know he couldn’t have read it and really done it. I know he is not on the level it says he is even the therapist said that. You can talk to him and tell he is not years behind in school.

The few schools I found I thought I would really like to get them into after talking to others find out that they have a lot of problems or problem kids that have been kicked out of school. Or they take two of my kids scholarships but not the other ones because his is different. It sucks because his is like twice as much as the other twos and would pay for extra stuff and I could order him different supplies and things. And he has two year worth of money laying there he will lose if we get the other one and use it so I am trying to find one that will take his and that is good regardless if he is the only one that gets and I have to find the other three other places.

We have a school right around the corner that will take my oldest, my kinder and maybe my Little Bitty but not my one with the different funding. I talk to them they said they would check into it but never called me back. He really didn’t seem interested in trying to be able to take it. He said he felt it would be to much work to to try take it. But I looked and if they already take the others like they do its just a matter of filling out forms. I am not in anyway shape or form crazy about the school but it’s a ok school. My older sister went there all the way through. But I figured it’s only two years and we will be moving so then we can find something else. probably better than putting them in public school all the way around. It’s just not as good of an education I know the other schools offer. But I also have to be able to get them all to school all over the place if they are all in different schools and get there to pick them all up on time at all these different schools if they end up split up, and if I need someone to pick them up they are going to have to go all over towns to pick them up. I don’t want to be making a 50 mile round trip to take them to school every day like I did for so long before.

Tonight I was thinking about it and the school around the corner I don’t care for may be good for my oldest for a year or two. I know they will move the kids up if the work they are doing in their grade is to easy and they feel they can handle the next grade up. My oldest is testing out at half way through her second year of college for reading and high school for everything else but math. She gets so very board in school she use to tell me all the time we are going around the room reading and I have finished the book or chapter and the rest of the class is still on the first few pages or chapter. We have our work to do I get it done and then sit and wait for the rest of the kids to get done so we can move on to something else. She got my General Psychology book the other day and ask me if she could read it and answer the questions after each chapter. I told her yeah but not to mess it up I had to return it I rented it not bought it. She ask when it was due and I told her. It’s due the first week of next month. She said oh ok it’s only 15 chapters and about 20 questions after each chapter I should have it all done by then with no problem. I am waiting to see if she does it. I was surprised she wasn’t farther along the other night and commented. She said well I am trying to concentrate and really studying it I find it interesting so I take more time to read it. We weren’t home all day today so I don’t think she got to work in it today. But moving up might be good for her. In third grade she scored 130 points on her IQ test they gave her. They were testing her for gifted she got in that.

I found some more schools tonight I am going to try and go check out tomorrow when I drop my little guy off at school in the morning. One I think would be really good for the boys because they offer the different therapies and things they need as well. But then it looks like the take my older sons funding that the other schools don’t but not the funding my younger one has that the rest do. So I will have to see if I can switch my younger one over to the other since he does need therapy and things.

It’s going to be a long day tomorrow, it’s five minutes to three and I haven’t been to sleep yet, I fell a sleep earlier for a little bit and not wide awake. I have to have my little one at school by 8, go check these schools out and pick him up by 1230 so we can go to the dentist at 130. We will be out most the day tomorrow too. If we are home by 4 I will be shocked. I just hope in all this checking out schools tomorrow I find one that works for them all and they get signed in and set up.

It really stinks that our public schools are so bad that they can’t just walk three houses down and go to school.


{January 22, 2015}   The Right Time To Scrap

I think tonight is the first time in weeks I have just sat down and really relaxed. Father of the year took my oldest and dropped her off at my mom’s earlier why me and the other kids went up to see my dad. We stayed about an hour and half two hours. More than that they get to cranky. They sit there and watch tv they don’t really talk to him about anything. I try to talk to him some tell him what is going on and things. He is really hard to hear so I have to ask him a to say what he says a few times. I hate it but I am trying to hear him and understand him.

He thinks I need to go ahead and junk my truck and try to find something at the car lot. Use what I get from my truck for a down payment. They told me they would give me $400 I am going to push for $600 and figure I may get $500. Plus I have tires that are only about 6 months old on it that I want to get off of it so that I can put them on whatever I get or sell. Because what they want to give me for the truck is less than what I paid for the tires on it. Then they are going to take them off sell them make back half or more what they gave me just on them. I don’t think so. I can sell it to them for $400 with old tires on it turn around and sell the tires for another $200 and have more to put toward something else or keep them to put on what I get. I am trying to best I can to get a excursion and if it has 17’s on it they will fit. If I can not find a excursion then I will end up with the same kind of truck I have now and I know they will fit it as long as the rims are the same size. Another reason if I wait to get rid of it then if what I get has 16’s I can take tire and wheel off trade them both.

Well just got off the phone with a friend and he said that steal prices just went way down so I should probably sit on it for a while. I told him they said $400 and he said if they can do that then I am doing good and should jump on it if I really want to scrap it right now. He says I should wait and scrap it when I planed to and I could probably get more for then because prices will probably go back up. So I will probably just sit on it for now. Unless I found something at a dealership that they would take what I get down and let me pay it off at tax time I don’t want to get nothing for it.

{July 22, 2014}   Less Than 30 Days

I have less than 30 days to have some kind of schooling arrangements for my kids all their supplies bought and everything else they need. No big deal most would say but I have no clue where they will be going to school and I have no clue what they are going to need. I have no clue what schools to even check into. I have one in gifted and one on the spectrum. Finding a school that will take them both and provide what they each need is next to impossible that is any good. I am really trying to avoid driving 50 miles a day to take them to and from school again. I really can’t afford $100 a week in gas I don’t have the time with two other kids and the soon to be 3 therapy appointment’s that I have to make each week for my son. I did it for a year and a half almost two years and it is just to much to keep up with and a ton in gas.

Ad in the fact that I am supposed to be starting back to school when they do and going back to work. I won’t find a sitter to go 50 miles a day to take them back and forth. I won’t be able to take them to and from and it is hard to find a daycare that will pick up at both schools. So then I will have 4 kids scattered between 2 to 3 different daycare. It just don’t work that was a big problem I had before when trying to go back to work. I am not happy with the public schools around us any more. They just all seem to be dropping the ball. The private school’s my son would need are not really doing what they say they will for the kids like him. I have been researching and checking into them. But talking with other parents and the therapist they are advising against most of them. They even say the schools around here are really falling short of what they need to be and should be offering and doing.

The more I look into schools and the more I see and hear talking to others the more I am dreading putting my kids back in school this year. I hate it that they may not be going back I really feel that going to school is important for kids in so many other ways than just the basic books and learning. But I also feel that if they are not being taught or helped in the area’s they need help and they are going to be picked on and bullied that it isn’t good for them. We have already dealt with the being picked on and bullied to an extram with my daughter I can’t go back to that. It is not worth her life to have her in school.

I know it is a lot to take on but I think it is doable if we get the right set up and get all the info and every thing we are going to need. So the search has begun to get any and all info on homeschooling and I still need to go and research some schools just in case. I am mostly worried about cruculume and getting every thing we need set up and getting started. Once we know what we are doing and have everything set up right I think we will do fine. It’s just the stress of not having everything not knowing and being in a time crunch on top of everything that is already going on here right now.

et cetera
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