{November 15, 2018}   Have to Let You Go

Yesterday I get to work call around find somewhere to see the dog because she needs to go to the vet. Then I get started on my work for the day. I walked up front for a minute and when I get back to my desk I seen I missed a call from my other job.

I called back and he proceeded to tell me that they no longer need me. The owners are coming in again to work and they are broke no money and all this. I said something about all the new people they just hired he said they were going to get rid of them too. Or some of them. I guess owners are going to open and he is having to close. They know I am not leaving my job to come close all the time and never know if or how many hours I am going to get. I pick my last check up tomorrow.

It sucks because they knew I needed that money and that I was planing to work there even with this job for a while. Now it could mess things up at my new job. I have to find somewhere working evenings at least 20 hours a week just to make up what I am not making at this job. It is not like I can say forget this job and just get something else 40 hours a week because most places are not hirering 40 a week. Most are all part time or no promised amount.

My friend told me about the call center where she works but it is so far away. I could go there get full time days. But I know with call centers that can last a few months, weeks or a year. You never know. They tell you they have work then the next day or week later tell you oh lost the contract or didn’t get it today is your last day.  So for part time it might be okay but to count on it isn’t.

I am going to take this weekend to regroup and figure out what to do or where to go. Right now maybe I can get something to work through the holidays with places looking for holiday help. Then figure out from there.

Just pisses me off I went in all the time for them and everything else take two buses and walk miles to get there and this is how they do. But oh make sure you give 2 weeks notice but they call up say don’t come back we don’t need you.

I was sitting there at my desk as I hung up pops came back and was showing me something. I was so upset I was almost in tears. He looked at me he said what is wrong? I couldn’t say anything…. All I could think was the water and car insurance that is due this week and the $100 or more vet bill and that I have maybe a $100 in my pocket for it all. I get paid but then still have other bills and things to be paid food that needs bought where is that money going to come from now?


I said I just got fired. That was my boss on the phone. He said what oh oh no. He said you needed that job too right? I said yes. He said it’s okay we will help you some how. We will figure something out. He said D will help you I am going to talk to him and see what he can do. He kept saying it will be okay we will figure it out. D can help you some how. D is his son who is part owner.

There really isn’t much he can do. There really aren’t anymore hours to get. Maybe 5 more if I came in at 9. But most places don’t open until 10 around so we probably wouldn’t do anymore buisness opening an hour earlier. The places I call most don’t open til 10 so I couldn’t get a jump start on that on the day. I thought about asking if I could get at least 20 there but don’t see where it would help or benefit them.

I think I am going to sit down tomorrow ask them if they are happy with me and make sure this is a permanent thing. Just tell them what happen that I have to find something if some reason they feel it is not working or not going to be permanent to please let me know. That opens up more jobs if they are not going to keep me. I am sure they are going to they say all the time what a great job I am doing and pop tells me how happy they are with me. They said today or yesterday that if they stay busy all week like I have kept them so far they are not going to work Saturdays unless someone special request. They are training a new sharpener to go on the road during the week as well to help them out.

I figure maybe they will say they can give me a raise maybe to help. They said start at x and chance for raise but no set time for that like 30, 60 or 90 days. If they really are that happy with my work and I am getting them that much more business then maybe they will go ahead give me one. Being new to all this having an employee and not knowing what kind of person your going to get or what kind of work they are going to do I can see waiting and giving a raise later.

Also see they may know of some places or someone looking for help. With them being out on the road all the time and knowing others that own businesses and things. They can keep an eye out why they are out local.


{April 25, 2018}   Fired

Tonight I learned the new guy at work is getting fired. I say new he is new like me and the other girl. They both started a week or two before me. So we are all new. Me and the boss talked about something’s today and before he left he said he was cutting him down to two days. Tonight he is just being let go.

He is nice but he says things he shouldn’t say and is rude to customers at times. Girls come in he says things to them and they are young, to young really. He tries to joke and things but its just not funny and akward a lot of times. He is stuck on scooby and shaggy thing always talking about how cool it is he looks like them and sounds like them. When he goes in to go over rules and back story he takes 3x as long as anyone there. The customers are looking at him like can we get to the point and just get started.

I guess he has been talked to a few times and nothing is changing. He recived a bad review and it said he was rude. The boss said done be is getting rid of him.

I feel bad and want to say something but I can’t because I need my job. I have to figure out what I am doing before I bring it up. I wasn’t worried when he said cutting hours because he still nmbe there and could pick up hours when I leave in a few days to a week. Plus it let him keep his job and hopefully keep his job. But right now it looks like they are going to be back to two peopls short.

My bff said I had the job unless I just went in and said or done something horrible. But until I meet him and talk to him and have everything worked out I’m not going to count on it at all. I guess we will see what happens.

{October 14, 2017}   Fired Already

I started my new job the 2nd, a big reason I have not been around. They told me I would work 3 to 11 and then when I get there they tell me no 3:30 to 12am. I had to pick my oldest up a few times from school so that she could be home with my youngest because I had to pick her up from daycare before I went. I had a friend get her a few times and we worked different hours a couple times. I was given all my log in information for everything the first week and had no trouble with any of it. Monday I went in and was able to log onto the desk top and was having some problems with the computer. I shut it down and restarted, since then I have not been able to even log on to the computer much less anything else. I went up talk to the team lead and she says they termed me she don’t know why they had me on the wrong list and had done it before she could tell them not to. Now it will take them who knows how long to get me back into the system. I can’t do any of my training that I need to do or anything. I sit there logged onto the computer under someone else name so that I can log into the meeting that anyone with the information can log into and then just watch what she does the few times a night she does it. It is driving me crazy just sitting and waiting.

They keep telling me I am going to be put back into the computer but I don’t know I have seen things happen before and then them tell the people they don’t need them anymore. I am not holding my breath just waiting to see what happens not counting on anything. I really need the job but I know how they do. I work Monday-Friday 9 to 5:30 that leaves no time for my internship that I have not been able to do and I may or may not get off in time to pick my little one up. I have had to make a deal with my friend that if she don’t hear from me by 535 to head over and pick her up because I am not off yet. If I get a call and it last a few hours and it is time for me to leave I just have to sit there and finish it. I can’t call anyone or text anyone because we can not have our phones at our desk. It is a mess. But I need the job and the money but I also need to finish school. If I stop going for a term for any reason then I have to take a bunch of extra classes. I will get to certifications in December and hope my degree in May. It is killing me not being able to work nights because of the kids. If I could work nights I would be okay. The kids hate me working nights we see each other in the mornings that is it they are in bed by the time I get home from work and I am at work by the time they are home from school. I am going to have to try and figure out it. I was trying to work 4 half days and three full days in order to do what I needed to do and be here with the kids in the evening. But that isn’t working they will not let me do that. They say I can’t work 7 days a week. Even if it is just 4 hours a day most days. I don’t know how things are going to work out.

{August 2, 2017}   Went to the Courthouse

I ended up having to call out of work Monday because Little Bitty was up and down all night sick and then woke me up at 6 something in the morning puking all over herself and the bed beside me. I got her a shower, cleaned up the bed and took her back to bed. I was up and down trying to call work to tell them and trying to get a hold of my friend that my oldest was spending the night with. I needed them to stop and get me something for her fever because we used the last of it in the night. She finally came home around 12 or so and we were still laying down because I had not slept. Every time I start to go to sleep I had to get up for something. I was going to take her to the doctor that after noon before they closed we were trying to nap before we went because I could’t hold my eyes open. I couldn’t drive I was so tired at that point. I heard someone knock on the door and told my oldest to get it. I figured it was the church people who come around every so often. I told her to tell them I couldn’t come to the door. She came back and said there was a man at the door wanting me. I ask her if it was the church people she said no some guy she never seen before. I ask her what he looked like what he was wearing or what. She said just jeans and a company shirt. I was in a t-shirt I put on a pair of my jeans that were laying here and went to the door. It was a friend of mine I haven’t talk to in forever, Father of the Years boss.

I closed the door and went outside to talk to him. He handed me an envelope with money in it and said it was from Father of the Year. There wasn’t even a months worth of support there. He said it was for the last three weeks that he had been working for him. He said something else and he said yeah I guess he got MARRIED last Friday. I didn’t act surprised, shocked or like I even cared. I laughed and said that should turn out good. He looked at me funny said why? I told him everything, how he met her, how they did all this behind my back, how I helped her and helped her, how he took the kids to school told them all this he was going to do, how he told them he was going to go get a place so he could see them and things, how he had his other job making $18 an hour and had a grand in his pocket the day he left and another grand or close to it every day after that but was still homeless and car less, how he didn’t go and lost his job everything. I told him how the kids have not seen him on over three months he had not paid me refused to and all his excuse. How he told me to take him to child support that he couldn’t pay me because he would have no record of it. I said why couldn’t he get a book for me to sign he did and I did a few times but then he stop bringing it, he could get a money order keep a copy/picture of it the stub, he could take that money he makes open a bank account and write me a check. So not being able to keep a record of it isn’t why he isn’t paying. I told him how he sold his truck for $500 to pay for a room. I told him that I knew for a fact that he has a drug problem and how he goes through $150 to $250 every day or two. How many people have ask me what he is on what happen to him and told me how every time they see him he is high as a kite. He said well now that I know that I am going to have to keep a close eye on him because he is working for him and he is responsible for what happens if he messes up or gets hurt and things.

I told him he would be getting paper work from child support to take it out of his check. He said he would have to fire him if that was the case because he didn’t want to deal with them. He said he pays them under the table and things he didn’t need to be involved with all that. I said well you can tell them he is fired don’t work there all you want. There are plenty of people who see him all the time working and there. He said no I mean I am going to go home and get rid of him I am not just going to tell them that. I said well if that is what you have to do but I have to watch out for my kids and get things set up to make sure my kids are taken care of. He said if I take out much more then it is going to leave him with only about $100 a week to live off of, I am trying to leave him and his new family (he has no family it is him and her) money to live on and make sure you are getting your part too. I said oh well if that is all it leaves him with not my problems. He hasn’t cared all these months and the months before when he would only pay what he wanted and when he wanted and the last three he has left them with nothing. If that is the case then maybe she needs to go get a job too. He just looked at me said yeah your right but at least this way you are getting something if I fire him he will not have anything to give you. I said if I don’t do this now then it will take months to do and I don’t have months to play with this down the road when he decides to stop coming to work for you or you decide you get tired of him not calling or showing up and being late all the time. I said then I have to start all this court stuff over. I told him I want to move after the first of the year and need it in place so that when I am not here and can’t go to court it is done and if he stops they will just go after him and make him pay. He said well I guess I am going to be going home and telling him he has to find a different job then because he comes with to much baggage and drama I don’t need to be tied up in that. I said it isn’t you it is him and all he has done the last few years. I said I am done playing his games, I am having to do this with no help from him, I am having to work in order to pay his part and take away from me being here for my kids, taking a way time I could be doing my school and doing my school on top of it all. He knows all this he left here the day he left knowing he was supposed to give me money for food and pay the lights when I ask him he said he wasn’t giving me anything to bad and go to child support so that is what I have done.

We talked a little more about it all he said please don’t tell them he was working or is working for me I am going to go home now and tell him he has to find something else. I give you my word, he said we meet at my house every morning at 8 am you are welcome to come by any day you want and check for yourself he will not be there he is not working for me anymore. I know he is right but about not getting anything if he gets rid of him but at the same time if he tells him not to pay me and he wants the money he has to give it to him because he has no paperwork saying he has to take it out and pay me or that he can keep it and give it to me other than what he told him. When he isn’t making money or don’t make anything hardly one week then he will tell him oh don’t give her, hers this week. He said something about what he is making and things I said well he is capable of making that and he is capable of making more with you too but you see just like he took off last week to get married and whatever else he has taken off for he takes off all the time. When the judge looks and goes oh you could have worked x hours these weeks but you chose not to then he going to say you could have made x amount of money but didn’t want too. You knew you had to pay your child support and would need money for yourself if you were worried you would have worked the hours you were given but you didn’t so you must not be worried about making the money or must not need it that bad or you would have. He said yeah that is true, he said I think he needs to go and find another job making what he was because I can’t pay him that and he needs to have something on the books and someone who is willing to take it out of his check.

Before he left he said if you change your mind and just want me to take it out and bring it to you then let me know and I will give him his job back and we will do it. He said I am going to tell him he needs to come talk to you and try to work out something with you, if you and him decide on an amount to take out and for me to just take it out and bring it to you and you yourself call me and tell me hey we talked we agree to this or that then I will too but I am not taking him back if I don’t hear from you. I said but he won’t contact me. He said I don’t know I think he will, I said he hasn’t this long to even see how his kids are he won’t for that. He said I think you will be hearing from him in the next day or so. I just said okay and he left. It’s now what Wednesday night and he has yet to try and get a hold of me and talk to me to try and work anything out. I have thought about it and I probably messed up by taking the money because I was looking at going to court on abandonment if he didn’t pay or contact them for the 6 months or what. But now I took the money it will probably start over. I have been thinking about it the last few days and I am thinking that I should just tell him he needs to get a hold of me figure his child support by his new rate of pay then add a little to it for the back pay he owes me, tell him he has to pay that much a month I need it every week given to me. I am also going to tell him I need to have his address and phone number like he is supposed to give me per court order and try to get him to give me so much of the back pay upfront. If not then at least get him to give me his phone number and address so that if anything happens he decides to try and take the kids without me knowing then I will have a place to start looking for him. I bet he will agree to everything but the giving me his information. I am also going to tell him if he wants it to be figured right then he needs to give me proof of rent and bills not just his word and that when he comes to talk to me we will meet at x spot and he is not to bring her with him because it has nothing to do with her. When he tries to play but she is my wife card it does, I am going to say and these are your’s and mines kids not hers so therefor it has nothing to do with her. We are going to decide this not us, her, your boss, my friends, and yours. Once we agree to it then that is that it isn’t being changed unless we go to court. If he wants to agree to it all then I will go talk to his boss, if he don’t then he can be jobless.

I don’t want to do it at all but if I do I can tuck that money away and not touch it unless I have no other choice, then when I get enough to pay a lawyer I will just go get one and tell his boss look it is getting close to time for me to move so I am going to have to go get this done through the courts just letting you know so you can do what you have to or want to do. Then go talk to the lawyer. I still have a feeling that he is working there. I don’t know what to think. My friend lives like two blocks away from him. School starts back next week she will be going by that way she is going to sit at the store on the corner by his house see if she see’s father of the year over there or in one of the trucks when hey all leave and head out.

A bunch of them come into work just about every day, I will make it a point to get away from the back and into the lobby and start chit chatting with them and after a little bit be like yeah I think my ex husband works with you guys, you know father of the year? See if they say he don’t work there no more or oh yeah he on a different crew or what. Like I told my friend the boss’s brother likes me always has, he tried to talk to me and get with me when he would come over to me and Father of the years house when we were together and things were good between us. I told him no that wasn’t right and he couldn’t come back around. I will get a hold of him and see how he has been, tell him lets go out have some drinks or something. He will spill his guts before we get to the first place. Then I be like thanks for the information, oh got a call, oh got go home something up with kids we will have to do this another time. He will tell me if he is working, where he is living and everything. If he isn’t working for them but somewhere else he will tell me if he knows.

I am thinking about calling him telling him I have checked into some things if Father of the Year wants to meet and agree to something then we can meet and do it this way. Just so I can save the money for a lawyer. I am not going to tell anyone that I am even getting it if I do decide to do it.

{July 22, 2017}   Seen Father Of The Year

I guess it was Tuesday I had to be at work at 6:30 a.m. then they sent me on a break at 8 a.m. I noticed I had money in my pocket my kid needed for school that day and left to take it to him because they would be leaving in an hour or so to go and I wouldn’t have another break that day. It’s only bout 5 minutes away.

I went and came back, when I walked in the dinning area it was busy and there were two guys standing there, one was looking at the floor or something and looked up we looked right at each other. It was father of the year!! I didn’t say anything and he didn’t either he looked like he didn’t know what to do or say or do. I just acted like I had no idea who he was and walked past him just as everyone else there and went to the break room. I could see him and his buddy standing there still and he turned and ran outside.

I wanted to say something when I seen him but didn’t because I was at work and we were inside in the dining area with a ton of people standing and sitting around. That is why I didn’t say anything at all because I wasn’t sure what he would or wouldn’t say and I knew that if I said anything to him it was going to escalate from there quickly probably. Just seeing him makes me mad. Then I was standing there thinking yeah he going go tell everyone ha ha she working here or there and when she seen me she ran and hid blah blah, like all the rest of hi lies he makes up. When he went outside I came out and went to see where he went. I figured he go jump in the work truck and lock himself in and not talk to me. I walked out and was looking around for a work truck and didn’t see it or him. I went to round the corner and there he sat on the curb, I almost ran into him. He just looked up at me like he wasn’t sure what was about to happen. He looked so embarrassed and humiliated.

I looked at him and said I hear life is going really good for you these days just as calm as could be like nothing ever happen. He looked up at me and looked kind of revealed and like we were just going to have a conversation like nothing was wrong and he did nothing. He said no not really it isn’t. I said yeah I know, I heard, isn’t it great? I think it is the best thing that could of ever happen ba ha ha and laughed. I couldn’t help the laugh or stopped it, it just came out.

Then I asked him how his whore was and he said why do you have to be so nasty and mean call her that? Can’t you call her something else? I said hey a spade is a spade a whore is a whore I just call them what they are. He says I love R and she loves me. Oh my god guys I about died, I rolled laughing at him again and told him how he is the laughing stock of town. He said no we aren’t that is you and my boss at the shop his wife and his whores ex boyfriend and what ya’ll got going. I said I don’t know what your talking about, I don’t even talk to them. When they pulled all this I didn’t and hadn’t for a year or two so I was trying to see what he knew who been telling him what. He just said yeah all you all got going on. I said I don’t know what you mean or talking about what do we have going on why don’t you tell me because I don’t know? He didn’t say anything just you know or something like that. I said no I really don’t. I said oh you mean the fact we have jobs, cars, phones, pay our bills, have our kids and take care of them, have our priorities and responsibilities straight we aren’t homeless, careless, have no phone or anything else going for us? If that is what you mean by going on then yeah we have a lot going on. He don’t you have a job to do? I said yeah I do and will when I get ready to. I have this one my second one and school and the one I have to do for school because I do what I am supposed to do and take care of the things that mean something to me and do what has to be done to make it. He didn’t’ say anything.

I asked him if he ever planed to see his kids or pay child support for his kids again. He said yeah his boss took it out of his check and was going to send it to me. I said when because I haven’t seen anything? He said in a few days or as soon as I get the address to him, it probably be a couple days or so. I said whats a couple more days to wait don’t rush or anything not like it hasn’t been months already that they have been waiting and needing things. I said why we are on the subject of the kids want to know what they think about all this and what you have done? He just sat there looking at the ground. I said let me tell you lets start with Big Guy because he seems to have the most to say and vocal about it all. I said the night when me and him was sitting in the hospital for the 2nd night in a row with oldest son he looked at me and said mommy I am so glad you are hear and take care of us and will never leave us. Daddy don’t have to ever come back I don’t care if he don’t. I asked him why he said because you left and betrayed them. I said then the other day we were driving around looking at houses and Little Bitty ask if that was where you lived. He was first one to answer before anyone else could and said no that isn’t his house, he lives in his truck in the middle of the street and has probably starved to death or was going to starve to death but it was okay because you didn’t see them or take them or take care of them anyway. He just looked like someone had punched him in the stomach and didn’t say a word.

Then I asked him for Little Bitty’s car seat that I let him borrow because something happen to his. He told me it was his, I said oh know J across the street gave that to me and I had just bought a new one and told you that you could borrow it, it is mine. He told me it went with his truck but he could probably get it back. I said and that why the hell would you sell your truck for $500 when you are homeless and have no where to stay no way to get to a job or anything else without it? At least you could sleep in it and get to a job if you found one. He said I couldn’t pay insurance may as well of sold it than drive it get in trouble. I said well you had a good paying job if you hadn’t lost it. Maybe if you went to work more often you wouldn’t have lost it. He again said nothing. About that time his buddy came out come on come on get up come inside and started running his mouth to me telling me to leave him alone and crap. I said look I don’t know who you are and you know nothing but the lies I am sure he has told you we were talking you need to go on and stay out of it. He kept running his mouth and then says come on she has a boss lets go talk to them and get her in trouble. They went running in side like two little kids going to tattle.

I followed them right in and one of the managers was standing at the counter to take orders. I ask her to talk to her in the back she ask what was wrong they started running their mouth I was beyond mad at that point. I threw my arm out their way and pointed right in the ones face and said him, I have no idea who he is, I have never seen him before in my life. I pointed at Father of the Year and said that, that is my ex husband who dissipated about 3 months ago and cut off all contact and support for his kids. I said we were outside talking and he came out and started and now he wants to talk to my boss and get me in trouble as he put it. I said pretty sorry for the father of his children who has nothing to do with them and who supports them in no way shape or form to try to get his children’s mother fired knowing she is the only one who takes care of them and supports them and only income coming into the home.

The dinning area was full of people there were people standing around waiting to order and for their orders and the kitchen right there was full of people too. At that point I did not care he wanted to go along with his buddy and run in there to try to get me fired then you can bet I am going to let them all know just what you are and how you are and how this fucker who don’t even know me or anything is going to get in the middle of something and start. They don’t want to be called out for the low lives they are then they shouldn’t of went in and started. She told me to go to the back she would take care of it. I went back to the break room and in a minute they got their food and left.

Later she came back for her break and I was standing there cooking and cleaning at the grill I asked her so what happens if they decide to call higher up and complain. She said you are a young lady they are two grown men coming in here starting on you it is abusive two of them to start on you. She said they are not going to look to highly of that. She said they are tress passing this is your job so they are in the wrong there and you were off the clock so what can really be said you were on your own time. She said don’t worry about it they aren’t going to get you fired. I told my GM who was there what was going on as well and everything and if she could ask them not to come back there. She said not over this one time thing but if they came back and started again then yes she could and would.

Yes I went out and was talking to him it may not have been a wonderful conversation or the best but how well or nice would you expect after all that he has done. We were talking we were not loud or fighting or anything like that just talking. When his buddy came out and started in on me he was loud and rude and cussing and things. Before that no one would have known anything was wrong or going on if they walked by unless they stood there and tried to hear what was going said or going on. So no we had no problem and he had no problem util his buddy came out. It wasn’t like he was being held there or could not leave or have gotten up and went back inside on his own or gotten in the truck if he wanted too. We were outside he is twice my size he could of gotten up and walked away at anytime if there was a problem he didn’t.

See I knew he was homeless still and couldn’t pay for a motel room anymore like they had been staying in and that he lost his job and sold his truck because I found out about a month ago maybe. She went to her ex’s again they were walking she told him that he had lost his job, sold his truck for $500 spent $60 to get to the motel room and the rest on the room for the week and now they had no where to go. She wanted to use his phone and get a number from him to call a friend of hers to see if they could sleep in her shed for the night. Since then no one has known where they were. They had stayed a night or two at her aunts but that was all we knew from there. We didn’t know if they were still staying there or that he went back to work or nothing. She had not come back by his place.

It had at that time been less than 10 weeks since they pulled all this and left. He had lost his job, sold his truck for nothing, still had no phone or place to stay and now didn’t even have money for a motel. I said that is pretty bad when I have me and 4 kids to take care of and do for and need a lot more to provide for than he does and I am doing it on my own. But he can’t do it for just his self or him and her, when he was making 3x more a week than I make in two weeks. Just goes to show that when he says oh we had this and that and how he made sure we had what we needed and was such a great provider for us that he wasn’t the one keeping track of the money and making sure we had what we needed.

I have seen a few different guys from his job come in the last few days but not him or the guy that came in with him on Tuesday. If he knew I worked there like he let on he thought I wasn’t working that day because my truck wasn’t there and he was wrong. I just left on break like I never do the few times I have gotten a break. Most days I work right through with no break at all. I don’t think he will come back in there at all now knowing everyone knows how he is and what is going on.

I can not even explain how he looked sitting there that day. At first he looked like there was hope that maybe we could go back to how things were I tolerated him and let him come around to see the kids and things. Then when I said yeah I heard and all that he just looked like he had no hope of ever having or doing better again. He look like all reason to live was gone, maybe I should feel sorry for him, sad or what but I do not feel anything but that he is getting what he deserves after everything he has put me and my kids through and what he is still doing to them. I talk to another friend I had not seen or talked to in years and she said she didn’t know we were not together and that she seen him the other day walking not to far from my house with no shoes or nothing and that she was wondering what was going on and thought he looked homeless then. My mom keeps saying how sad it is, I’m like no it’s not sad at all I don’t feel bad for him at all. He has done it all to himself and cares about no one but himself and now he has done to himself what he has done and tried to do to everyone else. What goes around comes around.

It was funny there is an older lady who comes in at opening and works til 9. She came over to me on her way out and ask who was bothering who? I said an abusive ex husband starting with me. She said yeah I had one of them too, just pray about it really hard he has a way to make it all work out for you. She said I prayed really hard about mine and 6 months later he was dead. I said well I tell you I been praying too maybe if we both do something will happen so you just pray real hard with me. She said well okay I will honey.

That is pretty much what is going on with Father of the Year all this time. Oh and he told me to message his whore if I needed him about the kids. I tried to message her when I found out about the truck, job and all that and she has me blocked as well so how am I supposed to tell him anything through her even? Not that I was going to, but it’s the point that this is how I am supposed to get a hold of her and then they cut that off too. I have changed nothing so he can’t say I am keeping them from him or he can’t get a hold of me. Even little bitty’s dad can’t say he couldn’t contact me because he could message me or call me as well because I still have the same number all these years later. I have had the same number the last 7 years so no one can say they can’t get a hold of me because anyone that really wanted too could.


{January 30, 2016}   Three Weeks Later

Three weeks after telling us they were going to tell us next week we finally have answers about what is going on at work. Today was most peoples last day to work because the project closes tomorrow and very few people work tomorrow. They started calling us in around 10 in groups of about 20 to tell us what was going on. We were the first group in, I was surprised by that we are normally the last ones for everything. They told us they had not told us anything because they didn’t know anything and basically they still really don’t. They have a bunch of letters for work signed and people calling but not contracts. They are waiting for the lawyers to go over the contracts and that one contract the company was sold to another company so it was on hold. They said that there was on client there at the time I know they were there yesterday as well looking around and going over things. I think it is for brookdale. They have about 30 computers set up for them on the floor and he said they were asking how many more they could set up for them like that. I was told they already picked up 20 more people to work than they had asked for to start with. My boss says they have not started training for those 20 and don’t know who the 20 are going to be but she was putting my name back on the list or going to tell them again.

They said that one company wants 700 people so it would have to be given to other centers not just ours because we do not have room for 700 computers and people by any means. But it would be work and keep everyone who is there on. They told us to check for work from home stuff with them to hold us over and that if we wanted to transfer to another center in another state we could. They said they are supposed to know something by Wednesday of next week but I will not hold my breath and expect that. I think we are going to have a two week break at least before training and things start for something else. The large project decided they didn’t need as many people so this one is good because even it wasn’t as large as this one. If all the others dropped this would still keep everyone there.

The week or two off is kind of a welcome but at the same time it really sucks right now, I would have had every bill paid in full and not owed anything at all and had money in my pocket if I had been able to work all month like I was supposed to. Now I am juggling stuff around and just trying to stay a float right now. I did get all but two hours this week and I have about $355 in bounce money. Only thing that sucks about that is they tax it at 33% so they will keep $100 of it. But it is better than nothing.

They also told everyone that if they clocked out and went home early or did not go by their hours or didn’t come in tomorrow if they were supposed to that they would not get their $300 bounce. We were wondering how they were going to get people to stay if they called them in and tell them all this. But then they also came around and started asking if anyone wanted to take VTO, volunteer time off. They said it wouldn’t effect our bounce. I put my name on the list I was feeling sick and hurting. I think the pills and things I am having to take are really messing with my stomach. I was just so tired of sitting there we been sitting there doing nothing for months now it is really starting to get to everyone. I thought they were going to let us go earlier than they did but they never let us go until around 2. I had just about decided to stay there but decided I needed to go and call doctors and things. Then my friend got off too so we went to lunch. I had a call earlier in the day but didn’t know the number. I was on the floor so I couldn’t check it. We are not allowed to have our phones out or anything like that. I keep mine in my jacket pocket, the way it is made I can glance in and see who called or if someone text to make sure it isn’t about the kids.

I called on the way to lunch and it was the surgeons office that I found yesterday. They said they were able to get the paperwork they needed from my doctor and the rest of my test and things. They said it was being reviewed and it cut her off. I am going to call them Monday if I don’t hear from them and see if they can see my sometime Tuesday or Wednesday. If they do I am going to see if they can do the surgery Friday. If not then by Tuesday at least. I want to get it done and healed so that if they call me back to work and so that I can apply at a few places I know of and get back to work a fast as I can.

I wish it was done but the doctor they gave me at the er who said she would do it wouldn’t take the insurance when I called the next day. Then I tried to go to another one I found and got into it with the office lady for being so rude and nasty. This is a group of three doctors they work out of the hospital I don’t want to go to but they are the only ones I can find. I figure if I feel the doctor knows what he is doing then I am not going to stress about the hospital I will be in and out in the same day so not to bad to deal with if the doctor is good.

I told them today too that I was working on getting it done and they said it wasn’t a problem they would work with me.

{January 18, 2016}   Made It To Work

I made it to work today and no one said anything. My boss didn’t get there until two hours after me and she never said anything when she came in. Sitting there with the headphones on started making my head and face hurt. I hold them and move them around as much as I could but I didn’t want them to say anything for not being on the phone so I mostly had to keep them on. I keep myself in call back and training most the day because I just didn’t feel good and couldn’t concentrate on what I was doing. I was in ready for part of the day I got a call. I swear I felt so lost and know the lady was getting aggravated with me I had to ask her the same thing a few times. I couldn’t help her with what she wanted anyway because they had her enrolled in two plans and she wanted to know what the difference in them were and why she couldn’t have the cheaper of the two. The one she was telling me it was listed as I do not have a plan under that to sell her so I told her she would need to talk to billing tomorrow. They were closed today for Martin Luther King Day. She insisted on being transferred because she just talked to someone from there. So I gave her the number and transferred her. At that point I knew I did not want to deal with anyone else and when I was looking around half the center was up wondering around chit chatting or sitting on red doing something else so I decided that until I was told what I was supposed to be doing I was going to stay off the phone. Because when it came down to it no one had told me what I should be doing at all. Some of our team was doing call backs, some roll playing and others just taking calls. They all had been given stuff to do the last few days that I hadn’t been there.

I took my fifteen on time in the morning then took my lunch an hour early since we can take them whenever right now. I went out to the truck and laid down for about twenty five minutes then went back in and clocked in. I felt better for a little while but it didn’t last long having to put the headphones back on my head.

In a little bit my boss came around and I asked her about when they would let the rest of us know what we would be on and if they were going to get rid of me because I missed all this time the last couple weeks. She said no not to worry about it. I told her I had two notes where I been to the doctor and what they gave me and how much and she was floored. She said it had to be really bad. I said it was and I feel a lot better but I am hurting. She said why don’t you stay until you have your daycare paid for the day and then go home. I said I don’t have to worry about that they are with their dad because they are all sick too so he had to stay home with them. She said oh then if you want you can go and just stay late and make it up. I asked her if I wanted to take off tomorrow and have her put me in for Saturday instead if it was going to look bad or make a difference and she said no. She said just go today and if you don’t come in tomorrow and call the leave line I will put you in for Saturday. She asked what time Saturday I wanted to work. I told her to just put me in at my normal eight to four thirty if she had to do that. When I left I told her I was going to try to make it in tomorrow but if I didn’t to go ahead and put me in for Saturday because I have no other chose but to work at that point pain or not pain. I knew I had the kids this evening and I couldn’t take anything for the pain when I got off at normal time and got home it would just get worse. I told her I wanted to come home take something for the pain give it time to work and sleep a little since it knocks me out before I had to get them at my normal time I get off.

I was surprised father of the year didn’t split and go to work this morning and not stay with the kids but he didn’t. He said he called the guy and told him that all the kids were sick and that I had been really sick and missed all this time already at work I couldn’t miss more. That he had to stay home with them because the sitter couldn’t watch them sick. Said the guy said he understood that was out of his control that he would see him Wednesday. At least he didn’t lose it but if he had there isn’t anything I could do about it. I can’t lose my job when I am the only one who pays stuff and he has no interest in taking care of the kids.

I was dissapointed but not all that surprised when I got to work, training for what I wanted to work on started today. So I didn’t get that. But I really can’t say I’m surprised most everyone who got on it were people who had been on the phones a lot longer than we have been. One guy from our team got on it but that was it. There was another guy from our team who I guess wanted on it and he wasn’t happy he wan’t. The guy who did get on said everyone but one person showed up for training and he didn’t think they were going to keep them on it. The guy who wanted on was asking the trainer if there was a chance he could get that spot. She told him she would check and see. I am kind of glad I didn’t get it because I am so sick and things but I just hope I get qa if on one of the other jobs and not back on the phone. I guess I will find out tomorrow or Wednesday when I go back.

My team lead also told me when I was talking to her about the time I missed and things that they are letting them say who goes and who stays. She said there are 3 on our team. Then said well 4 I’m sure you know who the three are and probably the 4th. I said oh yeah S, B, P and J. She said yeah. They are ones who come in late if they come in at all and who only work a couple hours and then leave and are hardly ever on the phone if they are there. J is on the phone and dose what she is supposed to do but she just hardly ever shows up, she shows up a couple days out of the week every week if she shows up at all. I figure she is the maybe. I figure she is getting rid of the other three off the top as soon as she can then if they tell her she has to get rid of one more she will be the one to go. But she is thinking she may keep her if she don’t have to get rid of that extra person. We lost another one Friday who left to do another job and then one who is just waiting for them to tell her it is her last day. She is just waiting to get her bounce for being hired and her bounce for staying the project out or until they tell her she is done with the project.

She also said they are looking more at who was there for the major time of this job and was on time didn’t miss to many days and things like that. So mostly the month of December that I was on the floor and I think I only missed one day that wasn’t planed and I had a note for it.

{January 17, 2016}   Maybe Fired

I haven’t been to work since Wednesday and then I worked half a day and went home. I was to sick to keep sitting there and hurting. I have been sick for a while, I wrote Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree was just a week before and I had been sick a while then. I thought it was the tree but got worse. Well the swelling in my face and neck went down for a few days so I thought I was better. Well then Tuesday night it was back and Wednesday it was worse and hurting. It wasn’t hurting in my mouth it was all up the right side of my head. I still wasn’t really coughing up anything and if I did it was clear and like water. I couldn’t get in anywhere to see anyone Wednesday or Thursday so I ended up going back to the er and this time I took my big boy with me because he was coughing and snotty too. His insurance is as messed up as mine so he can’t go to his doctor. Mine was so much worse than the other day with the swelling and pain all in the side of my face, under my neck and in my ear.

I told them when we got in there I had been there last week and was worse now that both the little kids were on meds and getting better but that I never got any and now was worse than before. I also told them I needed to get him seen and something because he was getting it and that I was messing work with all this and he caught it from me or one of the little ones who got it from me. They looked at me gave me penicillin and hydrocodones. Then gave him nothing and said oh its a virus.

I am still home hoping to be able to go back to work tomorrow. I have been on the penicillin every 6 hours and the hydrocodones every 6 hours since I got them Wednesday evening. Now last night and today I am getting stuff out of there more than I have been and it is nasty colored, I keep smelling something funny everyone else says they smell nothing and I have this nasty taste in my mouth. If the meds were working seems that I shouldn’t have color to it now three days into being on them. I am also still swelled up under my neck and some threw my face. I am not sure what to do at this point. Today is the first day I haven’t had to take the hydrocodones every 6 hours. Up until today if I didn’t take them all the time like it said I would be in so much pain I was in tears and about to come unglued from the pain and every little thing bothered me from just someone walking through the house.

I just got home from taking my big boy to urgent care because he has been saying for the last few hours his face is hurting in his jaw, cheek and around his eyes and forehead. I took him in and the doctor acted like I was stupid or wasting his time. Said well yeah I think it is just a virus as well but if you want meds I can give them to you and gave him meds. I told him we were all on them he said are they getting better I told him yes since they been on the meds, that I had only been on them a few days that I felt better as far as pain and things even thought i was still swelled up. He just said well it should have went down if the meds were working. I told him how I was coughing up all this nasty stuff and things he just acted like he didn’t want to be in there and walked out. I don’t know what this is but I just want to be over it and I didn’t want him to get this bad with it because I don’t want him to have to take a bunch of stuff for pain like I have had to take.

I have to go back to work tomorrow and hope I don’t get fired. I know now I probably won’t get my promotion or the job I wanted to be on since I have missed so much time now. I hope I still have a job of any kind when I get back really. I don’t know what I will do if I lose this but there was no way I could go in the pain I was in and as bad as this was swollen. I showed them before I left and I have called the leave line each day so I hope that they keep me on for something.

Father of the year got a job and is supposed to start tomorrow and I don’t know what we are going to do for a sitter. At this point I told him he is going to have to figure it out if the sitter can’t watch them tomorrow or until they are over this. I can’t lose my job and not have any money coming in. I don’t think I will get any tax money this year and I put my classes off until summer so I won’t get any money from school either. He does not give me a dime for anything or help get the kids any clothes shoes or nothing so him having a job, keeping a job or whatever to do with his job is the last of my worries at this point. He has to be there before me so I am sure he will probably try to leave before I get there with the kids so I will probably have to get up and take them early even though he was supposed to come here to watch them because his place is a mess and he can’t really have them there. I am not worried about him leaving before I get there because he is never up and leaving on time anyway. If I get there about the time he should be walking out the door to leave he will probably be just getting up. He says well no one cares if he has a job blah blah, when he hasn’t cared all this time if I had one or not.

I am tired I still feel like crap and swollen all under my neck. I really don’t feel like going and going out in the cold but I have to in hopes of saving my job and not getting fired. If I get fired at this point I am sunk. I should be ok but because of the divorce I running into more road blocks everything I try to do to get ahead and help me and the kids. Just like filing taxes and getting health insurance to get things I need taken care of. He just acts as if it is no big deal and he don’t care. Well he isn’t acting I know it is no big deal to him and he don’t care. It just makes me so mad, then I am supposed to care if he has a job or keeps it. I had everything worked out so that I would be caught up and have a little money ahead but now I missed so much work I will be lucky to get a little paid on each of the bills much less caught up and ahead. I feel like we are being so attacked right now and have no idea what way to turn.

et cetera
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